Bret Clement

''"Oi bruv, three pints a lagar and a pint a guiness." ''- Bret Clement's greeting to pretty much everyone.

Description
Bret Clement is an immortal being who was memed into existence upon the rapture that created Cockovania. He was originally created as a fake ID that Jay Cartwright would use to get served at pubs. It is believed that his consistent success as a fake alias in getting Jay served is what gave Bret Clement enough strength to be rendered into physical form during the rapture.

Despite his frightening and paranormal appearance, Bret Clement is ultimately harmless, but his level of sentience can be questioned. He is only capable of communicating through using a crude Australian accent to try and order three pints of lagar and a pint of guiness, reminiscent of the time Jay Cartwright attempted to do the same at the Black Bull Bar in England roughly six months prior to the rapture. Despite what some may say, Bret Clement seems perfectly capable of experiencing human emotion. Out of sympathy, Big John and David sometimes take Bret Clement out to bars and house parties, which attracts them a fair amount of popularity.

Quotes
"Oi bruv, three pints of lagar and a pint of guiness"

"Yep, that's right mate."

"15th of bloody May 1989!"

"You betcha.... cobber."